Personal thoughts on mental health

ON GRIEF....


It's hard when you lose something no matter the reason. Some losses are tougher than others to deal with. The difficulty of the matter does not change the fact that loss is a natural, normal part of life.


Apparently, the other day, a holographic Micheal Jackson performed his newest music....created after his somewhat untimely demise. I don't watch traditional television and as such, was unable to view his performance.


However, I do have social media and was well aware of the performance as it was happening. Let me say this again...I DID NOT WATCH THE PERFORMANCE. I have however listened to some of his latest music and I must confess I am not a fan. Musically, I have seen Michael Jackson do much better and even the engineering quality does not measure up to the standards that HE set....


Seeing the response of other people out there in social media world though got me to thinking...


Are we so desperate that we will put up with a substandard imitation just so that we may have something. Has the importance of having the experience become more important that the actual experience itself? I could go on about this particular aspect of why this bothers me but I have chosen to take a different spin on things.


Since May is mental Health Month, I wanted to instead use this MJ hologram to talk about grief and grief processing.


Holograms of dead people are Creepy...yea I said it and by saying it I have also made my biases known. Now that I’ve laid my bias down....


I believe that a MJ hologram and holograms of dead people in general are UNHEALTHY for grief. Grief can be defined as the feelings associated with a loss for the purposes of this blog. While most people think of loss in turns of death, people also experience grief from loss of a job, loss of ability, loss of material possessions etc. When we experience a loss, we go through 5 stages of grief (anger, denial, bargaining, guilt and acceptance). These stages are not like steps in that you can be experiencing several different stages at once and they don't have to go in a particular order. Acceptance is typically the final stage and represents a resolution if you will about the loss.


These are not my direct “thoughts” per say just my interpretation of what I've gathered over the years through schooling and experience. I'm NOT using citations because I can't recall what specific book etc. this information may have come from. It's common knowledge though. Feel free to use Google :)


Part of working through grief requires you to accept that what you lost is most likely never to be returned. Successful acceptance puts you in a place where you have found healthy ways to cope with the fact this person/thing/situation is no longer in your life.


What does this hologram have to do with grieving? What is the “harm” in creating holograms of deceased people?


What this hologram has the potential to do in my opinion is cause an interruption in the grieving process especially for people who have had difficulty coping with this loss. It also can open a huge can of worms. If we can bring him back for albums and concerts, why cant we just build a replica for his mom to have and his dad, and his brothers etc. You see where I am going with this...because there isn't really a “line” that can be drawn. The fact is, each person feels like their connection with this individual was special and as such could very easily request access to this hologram because they just can't live without him.


Loss is a normal part of life. Encouraging holograms that are in the likeness of people who are no longer with us could make it even more difficult to accept and deal with loss when we lose a person who is not of celebrity status because the reality is, you can't afford a hologram of great aunt rose to hang out with you. Yet because you have been introduced to the idea, you are a lot more likely to be upset by the fact you can not have a hologram too. It also gives you a justification/excuse for not having to fully cope with your loss.


Instead of focusing on trying to recreate the past, I think our energies would be better spent on trying to create a future that we actually want to be in...makes sense? Though both the past and future are important, the fact of the matter is whats MOST important is the present because that is what is occurring in the moment. And no matter what is going on, all we really can control is our current response to our current circumstance. When you are dwelling in the past, you are not working on your present.


We as a society need to focus less on trying to hang on no matter what and more on learning when to let go as well as accepting that letting go is a NORMAL happenstance.